Best massage oil: coconut, almond, and jojoba

What makes a good massage oil?

A good massage oil gives enough slip for long, smooth strokes without feeling greasy or sticky, absorbs at a sensible pace, has little or no smell of its own, and suits the skin it is going on. For couples at home, two extra things matter: it should not irritate the skin, and it should not ruin the sheets.

Most home massage uses a carrier oil, which is a plain plant oil. These are gentle and make up the bulk of any blend. Essential oils, by contrast, are concentrated and should never go on the skin neat; more on that below. Below are the four carrier oils worth knowing.

Fractionated coconut oil

Fractionated coconut oil has had its long-chain fats removed, so it stays liquid at room temperature instead of turning solid like ordinary coconut oil. It is light, non-greasy, odourless, and has a long shelf life.

Its standout feature for couples is that it tends not to stain sheets the way heavier oils can, and it is usually one of the most affordable options. It also will not clog pores. The trade-off is that it absorbs and glides a little faster than richer oils, so for a very long massage you may reapply. For most people starting out, this is the easiest first choice.

Sweet almond and jojoba

Sweet almond oil is the classic massage oil. It is slightly richer, giving plenty of slip for a long massage while still absorbing nicely, and it has a faint, pleasant nuttiness. The important caveat: it is a tree-nut oil, so avoid it entirely if either partner has a nut allergy and choose coconut, jojoba or grapeseed instead.

Jojoba is technically a liquid wax, and it closely resembles sebum, the oil skin makes naturally, so it absorbs well and feels nourishing rather than greasy. It is also very stable and has a long shelf life, which means a bottle keeps for a long time without going off. It costs more than the others, but a little goes a long way.

Grapeseed and how to choose

Grapeseed oil is light, almost odourless and inexpensive, a byproduct of winemaking. It has a smooth, silky feel without being greasy and suits oilier skin. Because it is a lighter oil it can oxidise faster than coconut or jojoba, so buy smaller bottles and keep it cool.

A simple way to choose:

• Want the easiest, sheet-friendly all-rounder: fractionated coconut
• Want a richer, traditional glide and no nut allergies: sweet almond
• Want the most skin-like, longest-lasting oil: jojoba
• Want light and budget-friendly: grapeseed

Whichever you pick, do a small patch test on the forearm a few hours ahead if either of you has sensitive skin.

Warming oil and using scent safely

Always warm the oil before it touches skin. Pour a little into your palms and rub them together, or stand the bottle in a mug of warm water for a few minutes. Test it on your own skin first, and apply to your hands rather than pouring it straight onto your partner.

If you want a scent, do not put essential oils directly on the skin. They are highly concentrated and can irritate or burn when used neat. Add just a few drops to a tablespoon or two of carrier oil, mix well, and patch test first. Lavender is a popular, gentle choice for relaxation. Avoid essential oils on broken skin, and check guidance before using them in pregnancy. Massage oil is for comfort and relaxation, not treatment of any medical condition.